Only Exception

When I was younger

I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind
He broke his own heart
And I watched
As he tried to reassemble it

And my momma swore that
She would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love
If it does not exist
But darling,

You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

Maybe I know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
Keep a straight face

And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable, distance
And up until now
I had sworn to myself that I'm
Content with loneliness
Because none of it was ever worth the risk

Well, You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality
But I can't
Let go of what's in front of me here
I know you're leaving
In the morning, when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream

Ohh---

You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

And I'm on my way to believing
Oh, And I'm on my way to believing

I don't get it

I don't understand why I Am being punished for living my life. I have not been the best child in my past and I Am sure I gave my parents a hard time, but I am trying. I Am trying really hard to make a better life for me and my children. It is not fair to get punished for doing what I think is right. Living my life the way I want to and doing the things I think are going to get me farther in life. No one has the right to belittle ma and make me feel like crap for this. I am a grown woman and I am fine and dandy with the way things are. Don't judge me, don't be an ass, just let it happen. If you don't like it, don't pay attention, not gonna be my fault you missed out!!!!!

WOW

So I noticed today that I have been separated/divorced from my ex for over 3 yrs now.... WOW!  I don't know where the time went. Then I stopped and looked at where my life is now, three years after deciding to make a better life for myself. I am a few steps closer to that, but at the same time still stuck where I do not want to be. So what do I do to change that? I am going to school to get a better education to get a great job, I am trying my hardest to make a better life for my kids. I am not 100% successful at that one. I feel like I am still letting them down, like I could still do better. I don't have a job, so I have no money. I am in a living situation that I hate down to my core, and I am not sure I want to be with the person I am now with. Do I stop here and say ok well I have what I can get for now? I make my own choices in life and I really do not know which ones to make. I wish there was a magic wand that made it all better, I say that a lot. My life's ambitions are not working exactly like I want them to. I am generally happy, but not fully happy. I try to live my life the way I want to but you can't always do that, life is not that kind all the time. Maybe I am just asking for too much too soon. Maybe I should just keep doing what I am doing and keep on truckin... I have my kids, I have my health and I have my music. I can't keep kicking myself in the ass just because I have this cake sitting in front of me and I Want to take a big bite out of it. One day all of my dreams will come true and I am sure then I will not even know what they are in front of me.

Love to all, hope you know where you are and what you want!

what to do?

I hate being an adult lately. It really does suck. So many choices I have to make so many things I have to do. I don't know where I will even be in a weeks time and I know I have to figure out soooo much right now. What is best for my kids what is best for myself. I wish there was a magic wand that made it all better. Grrrrrrrrrrrr

NEw Day

Today is a new day... WEll everyday is a new day, but today feels different. I woke up and felt something differnt. I don't know what it is, but something is gonna happen. Maybe I will finally win the lottery, no no wait you have to play to win.... Ok maybe I am not gonna be rich, maybe I will have a day where I don't want to smack someone stupid, maybe I will hear from someone that I have not talked to in a long time. SOmething is gonna happen. (I would like to get some money tho LOL)

Finished another set of classes yesterday. I know i have 2 A's, I am waiting on my last grade to be posted. I  hope it is an A cause I don't want to mess up my GPA. I have worked my butt off for my grades. I am ready for 3 new classes. I get to start injections this time around... oooooo I get to poke people LOL.

ok off to do something

yet again

yep here I am again, laying awake, practically alone, thinking about stuff I shouldn't be thinking about... This is my life! I have this weird way of always having something wrong, and I am a little tired of that. I just want for ojce to have a simple day maybe a week, even better a month of good, no drama no issues. Maybe it is not just me, maybe I am not the only one that goes through this all the time... I wonder...

I heart music

yes I really do. I love music. It calms me, helps me when I am down. Takes away my anger, gives me a release in life, comforts me, says exactly what I need to say without me saying it out loud. How can you not love music. It is good for your soul. If I could I would listen to music all day and all night. Maybe I would be smarter, they have to have some study about that. I may have expressed this before, I just have to do it again. Music is great, for all. I am sitting here studying and listen to music and I actually feel like I am getting more of it and I feel like I am being productive all because I have my music to keep me going... The TV is just distracting (so is my blogs and twitter) and I just ignore it and pop in my headphones and I am in my own world. IT IS GREAT!!!