i lost it all

I feel i have lost it all... I have no more firends, i have a family who thinks i am avoiding them... i feel alone, i hate feeling alone. I want to feel whole again. I thought i felt whole, i thought i had it all... where did it go... right out from under my nose, i guess... man sometimes i wish it was 4 yrs ago, i had no worries excpet my bills but i was working and my daughter... we always had fun, we never fought and i was happy. but i guess i threw that all away... and i know it was out of the proper reasons, i mean he never wasw going to change and i did... but right now i dont want to be changed, i want it all back, mom says it is normal, maybe it is the big D word that scares me, maybe i am just depressed cause the past few months i have had it good and now i feel like i have nothing... it jswt sucks, i thought i would have more to show for my life at 28, a house to call my own, a great job, some schooling, something you know... and now i am left with nothing to show but 2 kids who are always making sure mommy is happy and not being kidsw themselves.. that is no life for them. where did i take my wrong turn? why cant i find that place in my life i messed p so much that i cant fix it anymore??? is this on gonna make it better for me and them? they are my biggest concern, i want them to have better than i had in life and i am showing them no different then the struggles i went thru each and everyday of my life waiting for something to change... i followed footsteps that i dont know how to get out of, am i that far in? i just want happines i want stability i want to know everything is taken care of... but will it ever be that way?