I know no one reads this crap but it makes me feel better to type it all out knowing it is off my chest. I never knew I could get worse. I have such bad anxiety these days that i just feel like my body does not want to be in my own body. The one person who TRUELY understands I am just waiting for him to leave me cause it is too much for him... his parents have issues and they hide them to keep up with some persona that makes no sense to me it is all a bunch of lies. I know my dad and step mom mean well but they have their own stuff to deal with and i can not completey impose on that end of it... I feel bad for my kids they are getting the raw end of this deal... their dad helps none and i am so tired of beinf the soul provider for these kids. they deserve better in life. I want to start shool and start a life. give them something I did not have from my childhood.
I want to go to school. I want to make something of myself. I want a degree and I deserve it. There is no reason I don't deserve it. Atleast now I have someone who finally supports me in all of it with no questions as long as I am happy it is all good. I needed someone like that my whole life. i got stuck with a lot of bad stuff in my life but i think i finally got it now.
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